East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
