Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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