with your own penis?
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
