he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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