all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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