I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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