i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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