doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
