Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
