I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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