my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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