do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
be right there i have to get my cape
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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