oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize