i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
