In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
