I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we're making bets on your personal life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
