? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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