Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
