I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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