I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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