fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
