I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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