i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
