The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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