The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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