No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
