we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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