apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
