dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize