Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
