I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize