I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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