Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
