Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
