do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
