It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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