The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we made out on top of his cat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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