She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
