We won't sleep together?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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