Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
