CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
