Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
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Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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