saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
