This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.