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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (518): View more from New York

  At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (562): View more from California

  My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners

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• (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

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