Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
