You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
