This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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