the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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