she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
