I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
