Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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