if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
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Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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