i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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