Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We just shotgunned beers for America
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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