im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
