My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
