I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
