brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
