The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
