Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
