What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
